A case of the ick

One thing you see a lot of where attraction is concerned: someone with *personal* planets in the sign of your ascendant, meaning sun, moon, Venus, or Mars, is more likely to be attracted to you. Mercury's in the "maybe" category here: it won't hurt, but it's not slam-dunk. So, if you're Leo rising, someone who has a Leo sun, moon, Venus, or Mars will be more likely to find you attractive because you naturally embody energy that they have with that Leo ascendant of yours. I find this is especially the case with Venus. When people have Venus in my rising sign, it's a cakewalk: even if they don't find me attractive, it's easier for them to like me, and they're also not offended by my brash statements (Aries rising—if you know, you know).

The moon is the weird one in the group above (of sun, moon, Venus and Mars): someone with their moon sign the same as your ascendant are likely to want to either protect or nurture you, or both, which is nice, but not scintillating. The rest of the plants bring the heat.

Usually, this works to your advantage, you know? Some of you may remember I had a bit of a stalker issue at my gym this spring. I put my friend the Gemini on a fact-finding mission once I got the guy's name, and she came back with his birth date among other things: his Mars was in the exact degree as my ascendant, which meant that without me doing anything at all—just existing in his vicinity—I was activating his Mars. That was problem 1. Problem 2 is that his Mars was very closely squared by his own Neptune. Mars in any aspect to Neptune is frustrating for the Mars-haver and the people around them, because action (Mars) gets easily thwarted (Neptune), and so they usually act passive-aggressively to make someone else do Mars behavior at them. Any time they try to do Mars behavior, like trying to hit on someone, it comes out weird.

This guy learned my schedule. He showed up whenever I was a the gym. I started calling him "my shadow." He stayed just under the line of being incredibly annoying: he'd do just enough that I was extremely aware of his presence, but not so much that I'd yell at him. And another (unfun) attribute of Mars-Neptune is that people with this energy are often able to get away with actions without being noticed: they do little things that make you wonder whether they're doing it on purpose (yes). I was complaining loudly to my gym friends about the constant presence of this troll, and they all thought I was talking about a different man. I finally was able to show one of them how this guy was hovering and waiting for me to walk out a door, to which she said "oh, HIM?!?" She didn't see it at all and he'd made an impression on her as being very polite.

After weeks of following me around, he finally made a move, which I rebuffed. I was already angry that he'd picked up none of my cues of disinterest: ignoring him and turning my back to him at every opportunity. In true Mars-Neptune fashion, he pretended it didn't happen: he disappeared for a few (blessedly wonderful) days, and then returned to the schedule—MY schedule—as if nothing ever happened. After a few more weeks, I could feel him getting up the wherewithal to try again: the ick was rising. The other issue with someone having their Mars exactly on your ascendant is if they're using it badly (as in this case), they are likely to piss you off way more easily than a normal amount. I'm primarily a swimmer, and this man was chasing me around the pool, trying to talk to me, so imagine how difficult it is to try to speak to someone who is resolutely remaining underwater. I'm faster than him, so he bought fins to keep up with me, and that made me angry, so I'd swim even faster. I wish I was kidding, and it's funny now, but back then it felt awful to be followed that closely all the time and being totally powerless to stop it. He finally got in my face again (and I mean directly IN my face) to try to talk to me, and I yelled "NO" at him like he was a bad dog, swam away, and went to complain about him at the front desk right after my workout. Some gym personnel eventually talked to him and he backed way off (and this is how I got his name: I only knew about the Mars-Neptune thing at the end, which explained a lot). He hasn't been seen for months. For a while, though, he'd sit in his car and wait for me to leave the gym before he entered, because, again, he knew my schedule.

I had some internalized misogyny about this: a maternal voice in my head was asking me what I had done to cause the situation. I hadn't done anything: this guy just noticed me and locked on to me like a heat-seeking missile. I don't even know precisely when it started, aside from that it was in January, because he was suddenly everywhere by February. Then I was paranoid because I couldn't do anything to stop this person from invading my space. It's not illegal to be creepy, though. It was horrifying to realize I was a sitting duck, and I had to wait for something to happen or him to lose interest, or both. Which is also a Mars-Neptune experience, for the record: discomfort you can't really do anything about. You just have to wait for it to pass.

Stay tuned for my next silly adventure.