A celebration of Scorpio energy

I have Saturn in Scorpio, and whatever your Saturn sign, you typically feel like you're horrible at harnessing/embracing/encompassing the energy properly, at least when you’re young. I'm not here to say "...and I have mastered Scorpio energy!" because that's just tempting fate to once again hand me my ass while reminding me I ran my mouth, but where you have Saturn, you have your calling in life.

Ten years ago, when I was much more naive, I was talking to a real Scorpio, like a sun-Scorpio, who was describing someone she was advising who was taking up a lot of her time, and she said nonchalantly "I'm just going to limit the amount of energy I give to that." I was incredulous, like "that's a thing you can do?" I am a ruminator: if I am processing something, I'll put a thousand hours and my entire chest into it.

A thing Scorpio is known for is the total end of something, whether that's death, destruction, demolition, or removing all of the energy out of something. Usually, the energy gets directed somewhere else. If you need to make sure something is totally dead, Scorpio energy is good for that. It's also capable of moving in total silence, so you never see it coming and you never see it leaving. Most of us have a few horror stories of some Scorpio-type shit, especially since there's a whole generation out there with Pluto in Scorpio. But I said this was a celebration, not a roast. If you need to make sure something is dead, send a Scorpio. And the total end of something makes way for a new beginnings: energy doesn't die, it gets transmuted.

With Saturn in Scorpio (conjunct Pluto—it's a thing everyone born my year has—as well as a problem) I have to stop myself from getting very angry because it can quite literally drive me insane. I have a weak-ass Mars that just swears at things and then gets over it, but as I've matured, I've developed a rational approach to rage due to the Saturn factor, since all-out rage is a Pluto thing as well as a Scorpio thing. It used to be that when I got very angry, everyone was on the call list. My drama was broadcast far and wide. I've toned that down considerably.

So last year, I got myself a bully. Not a new phenomenon, but instead of going into "finish him!" mode, I just assessed him. He went into attack mode because he was threatened by me since I wouldn't cave to his bad ideas (he was encroaching on my professional expertise). So he kept coming at me, because my supervisors would occasionally give in to his bullshit demands due to his tantrums where he'd get red in the face and sometimes cry (I'm not kidding). I continued not attacking him, because it wasn't worth my time. I've had much smarter bullies who made way better points than this guy, so frankly it was amateur hour. Other people with Pluto/Scorpio energy found out what he was doing to me and called me to yell at me about it, because they were pissed on my behalf, so that just made it worse that I had to endure it without flinching at the bully and then have people rub it in further. But to be totally transparent: I did whine about him the whole time (my Mars was being a little bitch, because it is), because the indignity of it all was deeply irritating.

Guess what: these days he's being awfully nice to me, as though he thinks that somehow erases the past. He learned over time that I actually do have significant professional expertise and am worth listening to. But if he thinks I'll forget for a second what he put me through (and believe me, he does seem to think it's behind us): not correct. Scorpio doesn't forget. Water signs tend to retain emotional imprints, and Scorpio is the fixed water sign, meaning it's the last to let things go.

In a separate story, this year, I realized that someone was taking advantage of my energy in a way I'd characterize as severe. I'd known it was happening on a small scale, and I tolerated it, but once the true scope of it became clear to me, the situation had to die.

My mentor was a sun-Scorpio and he taught all of his mentees how to appropriately move energy. Most books, websites, YouTube/TikTok videos, and ChatGPT will tell you to "cut cords" (of energy) between people to solve energy problems. He disagreed vehemently with that idea, because those cords are actually the connections that tie you to people relationally. Can you say for sure that you definitely do not want to talk to certain people, and that your life plan (which is impossible for you to know consciously) does not include them in the future? You can't. (I get that you might want to cut 'em out, but time changes lots of things.)

You can learn to cleanly separate your energy and theirs: you can call back yours and dump their energy back on them to deal with, which is the appropriate way to handle stuff like this. The cords stay intact but you're not swimming in someone else's bullshit anymore. And then on top of that you can make yourself a little sandcastle fortress with energy to keep them out, and even install a guard for a couple of nights if you want (you have spiritual support available to you at all times and they'll do you a solid to keep unwanted energy out if you ask nicely).

So I set about going apeshit doing exactly what I just described to get rid of the shitty energy that wasn't mine. I was furious that it was as bad as it was and confused about how it got that way, but spent a day or so doing the heavy lifting of separation and then multiple times a day doing little cleanups to make sure that things stayed separate for a month or so. Initially it felt like there was no escape, but it became manageable over time. It was similar to having an infestation, but on the psychic plane.

What I'm still not sure about is whether this person did this intentionally, so they got one final benefit of the doubt that it was a byproduct of very consistent wishful thinking (I'm being vague on purpose due to that last benefit of the doubt). They reacted immediately and knew something had changed between us, but maybe were not able to articulate exactly what, especially because when I appeared physically it was with a smile on my face, normal tone of voice, appropriate eye contact, etc. I'd describe myself as "eerily normal" which also required considerable effort, but behind "eerily normal" was a retaining wall they couldn't get past...and some raised middle fingers. The thing about Scorpio energy is it very rarely displays itself on the surface, and it’s almost never seen in public.

If I was an actual sun-Scorpio these situations would have been handled differently in the first place, you know? But with Saturn there, it means I've slowly learned, and it usually is accompanied by this sense of "...do I have to?" the same way you ask your parents if the trash really needs to be taken out today. Yes: sensitive people need energetic hygiene more than anyone, because if people who take advantage of your sensitivity get their hooks in you, it's hard to resist them and their bad ideas in real life. You can spend decades of your life unable to get out from under them because their intensity trumps your sensitivity.

So if this is something you need to learn, I can teach you, because my mentor died late last year so I can't just send you to him and know you'll be taken care of. I'll also be discussing some spiritual basics in the next year, though I haven't decided exactly how or where I'm going to do that. It's in part to honor and continue the parts of his work I can, as well as his memory, and it's also gonna happen because it's the right thing to do. If you need help with learning energy management sooner than later, reach out to me directly, because I have 6 more months of grad school torture to endure, and my initiative beyond that is limited.

 
P.S. New video: what it looks like when you don't get murdered.

P.P.S. Go ahead and guess my Mars sign if you don’t know/remember: