Anger (for nice people)

Just for fun, let's talk about anger. Astrology has several flavors of that available, depending on who you are:

• Mars

• Pluto

• Stuff in Aries

• Stuff in Scorpio

I've listed 4 things there, but there's really only 2, because Mars rules Aries and Pluto rules Scorpio. Here's the main difference: Scorpio/Pluto energy is premeditated and Aries/Mars is reactive and heat-of-the-moment. This is not complicated.

But anger IS often unnecessarily complicated, especially for most of the people reading this, because just about all empaths or energy-sensitive people I've ever met (except those who are Aries rising, and there's 3 of us that fit that description) take the longest time to admit they are angry, and even if they do, they also don't want to admit who they are mad at or why, because it's "not nice."

My day job involves dealing with angry people constantly, and 9.99 times out of 10, I didn't do the thing they're mad about, but I get a lot of calls from people who would like me to know they are upset, and then they'd like to tell me all about it. Last week, a coworker called me who was pissed off because his boss yelled at him and he was on his way to literally go stare in a hole (for work reasons) and it's cold out and it was the night before Thanksgiving, so misery was abounding, and I heard a can of Diet Coke crack in the background—his version of a cigarette—and I listened while he unloaded. But let's be real: he was calling me to yell because he couldn't yell at the appropriate person. If everyone's being honest about their reason for yelling, I don't mind listening, but it gets really grating when people call and yell because they're trapped in a bad marriage and their spouse made them feel bad so they set out on a mission to make someone else feel small. Again, I see it a lot.

Anger has two directions: out and in. It doesn't settle, and you can't negotiate with it. Empaths (and the energy sensitive) like to pretend it's not there, so guess what? Most of the time that means it's going to go inward, and you're going to make yourself sick that way or start acting all self-destructive and not understand why that's happening. Or, again if you're not aware of it, you can redirect your anger toward the wrong person, because we tend to do pretty stupid things with the feelings we're trying to pretend don't exist in the first place.

I stumbled upon the concept yesterday of "acting from a healed place" vs. "acting from an unhealed place" and it occurred to me to share this idea with you, but also to add to it the idea that if you're "healed" you're not going to get angry is BONKERS. The key word here is actually "acting," because Mars energy is what makes you act in the first place. If not for Mars, we'd all be lazing around, so given that Mars is the energy of doing, check yourself and consider what you're doing and where the impulses are (really) coming from. This can be especially insidious if you've decided to "help" people who didn't ask for your help, which is often some distorted Mars energy (I have Mars in Pisces so I'm 100% guilty of this). My point is that if you take a beat, you can make better decisions about where to direct your anger when it strikes, but don't expect that if you've put a lot of effort into personal growth you will be exempt from anger. That's not a thing.

It turns out there are 100 ways to get anger out so it doesn't start festering within you, all you need to do is make it conscious. It goes like this: "I am frustrated because I can't have [thing I want] so I will do [other thing] instead." "I am mad because [asshole] is acting like a jackass, but instead of murdering them, I will [do activity]." If you are very tired, it is very difficult to be very angry.

Scorpio/Pluto isn't much more complicated except it's more subconscious and holds on to grudges forever (and ever and ever), so you want to admit to anger even less, which of course is what makes it important to admit it. Therapy is a concept created by Plutonians for Plutonians, but in order for it to work, you have to learn to be honest, otherwise you're just paying to have a staring contest. And, because the universe enjoys its jokes, Scorpio energy is notoriously tireless, so that means that you have to work even harder to get all of the energy out so it doesn't go in the wrong direction.

Sometimes Scorpio/Plutonian energy likes to nurture their anger like it's a little pet. You can spot these people because they have A Story they can't wait to tell you about how they were Wronged. It's one thing if it was a recent infraction and the shellshocked are piecing it together to form a coherent narrative, but it's another thing if it was non-scar-forming and occurred in 1997, you know? If this sounds like you, guess what: you can still wear yourself out with this energy if you choose to do it on purpose. In fact, "I am running this marathon because my mom never hugged me" might be the ticket to finally wearing yourself out regarding holding on to this narrative, but it's about bringing it to the surface and doing stuff on purpose. I’m not kidding: eventually it gets boring to still be angry if you face it regularly without re-circulating to get fresh reactions from new people (persistently seeking out a new audience is Unhealed Shit).

So the TLDR is 1. be honest with yourself and 2. channel it somewhere productive, or at least not destructive, and not toward yourself (or if you must channel it toward yourself, make it in the form of rigorous exercise). If you repeat this process, you will see results, even if whatever you're mad about was really bad and even if it really hurt a lot. Anger does not need to be mysterious or complicated, but if you let it fester, it will become those things, and you will be in the Unhealed Place.