How to interact with key people to your advantage

This is a continuation of my previous email about the lunar nodes and how to use someone else's energy to your advantage, because you probably have at least one person in your life with the following interactions, if not more*:

People with their south nodes within 5 degrees on either side of your ascendant stick to you like glue. Their south node programming (innate behavior) gels perfectly with your way of showing up in the world. Your ascendant and any planets around it describe your basic instincts and the way you show up in the world. You probably know several people who either have their south nodes on your ascendant or you have your south node on theirs, as like attracts like. There are a few benefits to having people like this around: you tend to just *get* each other without having to discuss much. You know why they're doing what they're doing.

In actuality, people with their south node on your ascendant (at 9 o'clock on your chart—the mark of the eastern horizon when you were born) make good partners, because it puts their north node (the good energy) on your descendent (3 o'clock, or the western horizon), which is where partnership is indicated in your chart. And partner they do! If you have one of these in your life, come up with a chore that you can do together: "hey do you want to come to the dry cleaner with me?" Especially in new relationships, the answer to that is going to be "yes" more than the normal amount. See if you can get them to match your socks with you.

The problem with these people is that their south node (stagnant energy) combines with your instinctual energy, and they can unwittingly drain you in a strange feedback loop, so you feel you can't take independent action (ascendant) and need them around (south node), so you can compulsively feel you need them, but if you take a breather from them, you're likely to feel more energized. Good luck getting away from them, though. They're like heat-seeking missiles.

Bottom line: good partnership energy but bad for your instincts, even though your instincts are in alignment.

Conversely, people with their north node on your ascendant tend to love you enthusiastically, because their north node good energy is stimulated by your presence in the world. Do you dress like every day is 80s day? They love it (because they like your appearance). Feeling sassy? They'll love that, too. Have a sudden whim to go to the zoo? Let's go.

The problem HERE is that they like it when you take independent action but their stagnant energy is on your partnership line, so if you try to take them to the dry cleaner with you, they'll be confused as to why you can't tackle that on your own. BUT! They will often feel like they need you present for THEIR dry-clean runs, because the descendent is also a marker for codependent energy.

Bottom line: good support of your individuality, but can drain you dry with neediness. Note: if I get someone's chart and their north node is conjunct my ascendant, it's like a slam-dunk "they'll like me." These guys require no convincing: say hi and you've got a new best friend.

How about people with their north node next to your midheaven (the top of the sky, between houses 9 and 10)? These people are great influences on your life direction, goals, career, and potential. They're likely to see you as limitless in what you can accomplish in the world. Having problems with your boss? Ask them what to do. Stagnating in your career? Take them out for coffee. Fun fact: it doesn't matter if they're 12 years old, you'll walk away with ideas (don't believe me? Try it). Caveat: don't tell them about your innermost feelings because they don't care. Since their south node is in or around your 4th house, you're likely to want to bare your soul, but resist this urge, because that 12 year old is going to stare at you like "so what?"

Reverse it: people with their south node on your midheaven make you feel like you can't do enough to get ahead. Want to experience constant anxiety that you're fucking up in your career? Live with one of these! They tend to get what makes you tick deep down, which is nice, but you'll be too busy feeling like you're not achieving. Your best bet is to nest with these people, but you'll start feeling paranoid that your nest is inadequate and you need better furniture, and in order to do that you need to get a better job.

Since all these areas of your chart are so potent and energized, it is not uncommon to attract people who have one of their nodes on one of your angles and vice versa, but the cosmos loves its jokes, so they'll often conflict. (Welcome to astrology: there are many cosmic jokes.) Often, these people will be of the spousal or relational variety, or people you can't get rid of. I have an ex whose south node is on my midheaven, and my south node is on his ascendant. What a pair we were: freaking out about my career at the dry cleaner. I went on so many dumb errands with him when normally I'm extremely independent, so it's only in hindsight that it makes perfect sense why I was willing to go with him to pick out paint samples (while freaking out about my career).

The real trick here is to figure out where the good energy is and try to limit your interactions to take advantage of what each brings to the table.

But what do you do with a riddle, like when your north node is conjunct someone's ascendant but their south node is conjunct yours? That's a recipe for a mess, since one is good partnership energy and the other is good independent energy. This one's a cliffhanger. Know the answer? Tell me what it is and I'll answer a sky question of your choosing.**

*All you need to know to find someone's nodal positions is their birthdate, so if you know someone was born in a certain date range, you'll know where their nodes are relative to your chart. Like people born in 1987 have their north node on/around my ascendant, and on/around 1992 have it on/around my midheaven.

**while supplies last.