One more chance

Fun fact about me: I journal. I also write compulsively. It comes in handy, given my day job, because I am tasked with writing something either creatively or tediously, but it gets written either way, because I'm used to scratching my head and wondering how the hell to get my point across. But! Being an avid journaler helps a lot when you're learning astrology, because if you want to know what certain energies do in your life, you simply go back and look at what happened the last time, and how you felt about it.

Here's a secret: every time energies combine in your chart, you get another opportunity to experience similar themes to the last time. With planets like Mars, it's just annoying, because every time Mars hits my moon I either get mad or experience some annoying shit related to my car. There's not a lot of profundity involved with being reminded that I have a temper, which, I mean, hang out around me and listen to me yell at inanimate objects or my computer and you'll be just as aware as I am. But when it's something like Saturn or Uranus or Neptune or Pluto, you get legit *opportunities* to evolve, and these are much more rare.

Whenever Pluto hits Venus for me, there's a romantic explosion of some sort. Even when I defy the universe with "well I have no stated boyfriend, so try me this time!" oh, no, the universe does the most to send me something explosive. (I am an idiot with my "try me!" determination and I don't think I'm growing out of it. I'm Aries rising 🤷‍♀️ and I'm deeply aware that I'm a moron in this way. ) I had one recently, and it's a *minor* Pluto aspect, even. I had an explosion almost a decade ago, too, and I was in therapy about it, and I muttered to my therapist that it was similar energy to the previous explosion, which happened while I was in college, and I told her the details, and she was floored that the names and the scenery were different, but the narrative was VERY similar otherwise. (Back then, making my therapist's jaw drop was something I did for sport.)

In the past two incidents, I felt very much like the victim in it all, as I was being blamed for other people's problems, and the emotional fallout was so expansive that I could build a museum in its honor, which would have been a better use of my time than all the wallowing I ultimately did. This time I sat back with my relatively newly-acquired psychic wisdom and started sorting through which energy was mine and which wasn't, which I had to do, because I'd started to have nightmares—I have the type of chart where nightmares are annoying but instructive signs to look more deeply about something that's happening on the emotional front—and I realized I had to do a psychic cleanup of sorts, and then the nightmares stopped.

Since Uranus, Neptune and Pluto move so slowly, the opportunities for improvement are rare, but they're there, and if there's one benefit to aging, it's this: you actually DO get do-overs.