Stayin' Alive

Mercury retrograde

Author

Josie 💫
March 14, 2025

Mercury's going retrograde (March 16 - April 7), and really all that means is snafu season is upon us. In honor of that, a stupid story from when Mercury was retrograde in my 3rd house (the house of communication, short trips, and your immediate environment):

I had to take a CPR class one Wednesday morning, which was work-mandated. The class was 2 blocks away from my office, and I looked at my two phones and decided I only needed the work phone that morning, because it was summer (meaning I had fewer clothes with available pockets for multiple phones) and I was feeling lazy about bringing both of my phones somewhere, so I picked the one that (I thought) would have more time-sensitive information that morning.

I went to the class early because I wanted to meet up with someone who I thought was in the building for a few minutes before my class. They weren't there. Bummer. So, I was super-early and told the CPR instructor that I had to leave a couple of minutes before the class ended because I had a meeting in the building next door. The class started at 8 AM and the meeting was at 10 AM. The class was supposed to last about an hour and a half.

No problem, right? CPR class can't last that long, can it? And you know these are famous last words.

The instructor stalled the beginning of the class because some of the people who signed up were late, and indeed, two of them rolled in at 8:25, saying they misread the confirmation and thought it started at 8:30. Class (finally) started. For me, this was a recertification, so I was there to watch the videos and practice compressions on a dummy, right? Wrong. Late-arriver starts asking questions about Narcan and when to use it. The instructor ever-so-patiently explained that the person you're resuscitating needs to have a pulse (and be breathing) to administer Narcan (it’s a nasal spray), and so this class was really about trying to bring back the pulse of someone who doesn't have one. Because that's what cardio pulmonary resuscitation is.

Late-arriver asked subsequent questions that revealed that she still didn't understand what the purpose of CPR was. And then asked again about Narcan. Then later asked about Narcan again. The class (predictably) went long, and at 10, the instructor motioned for me to leave, telling me I could catch up with him at a later time. I left vapor trails on my way away from what had become a remedial presentation on the circulatory system.

So to the next meeting in the next building I went, where the person I was supposed to meet with...wasn't there. I stared off into space wondering how my CPR class was progressing for about 10 minutes until the person I was meeting with walked into his own office and did a double take because I was in it (sitting in a corner, minding my business). This meeting went long.

Eventually, I returned to my office, and my personal phone, which was blown up with texts about the fact that the CPR instructor was willing to finish the class with me that day if I returned ASAP, so I tore out of my office building texting "sorry sorry sorry" and scurrying two blocks back to the other building. The person texting me said "I thought about trying your work number, sorry!" After all, I was AT work, and it was work-related. So I did the last 20 minutes of class one-on-one with the eternally patient instructor, who, as a bonus, also showed me how to put a tourniquet on what I'm assuming was a rubber model of a leg segment. I thanked him profusely for sticking around and waiting for me to come back (but I didn't know he was planning on doing that in the first place!).

All's well that ends well, but how's that for a snafu? When Mercury is retrograde, you must try your best and be patient. The hour-and-a-half CPR class actually went two-and-a-half hours that day due to Narcan confusion. I was dumb for not bringing both of my communication devices with me. People were late or missing. Was any of this critical? Nope. It was just a weird Wednesday.

Textbook Mercury retrograde.

Videos of late: