The Switch Up

I have an angular moon, which, when you have something on an angle (usually the ascendant or the midheaven), people expect you to BE that planet. If it's on your ascendant, you already embody that planet (no work is necessary on your part to express it), but if it's on your midheaven, it's a role you're asked to play again and again that you don't necessarily personally identify with. My moon's on the midheaven, and everyone thinks I'm their mother. I mean, not really, but also, yes, constantly. The ironic thing is I have no children and am one of the least domestic people you'll ever know. My moon's conjunct Neptune (and the south node of the moon) so I constantly feel myself being asked to embody some unrealistic divine feminine thing that doesn't actually exist. I'm aware what's being asked for from me has no basis in reality. I'm pretty good at hearing out highly emotional people and then sending them on their way. I am an old pro at handling a tantrum. I've always been like this, but when I learned astrology, I suddenly understood WHY this was happening. So basically I attract people with moon issues. If you have a problem with your mother or your sense of nurturing, I'm like a one-stop shop. (That's not me volunteering for more.) A couple of weeks ago, Mars went over my moon-Neptune, and the day the Mars-->moon transit was exact, two separate people sought me out to unload their emotions at me in under two hours. Neither was a relative, and I barely left my home that day. I was impressed.

The Neptune issue clouds matters, though. If you have Neptune on your midheaven, people love to project stuff on you and then withdraw the projection when it suits them. I've been accused of some pretty incredible things.

But hey, without this combination of energy I would be ill-equipped to do what I do with the psychic abilities and the writing, so it's not entirely a pain in the ass to be the person who can provide short-term comfort but, long-term, people are dissatisfied because they're seeking out something that (I repeat) does not exist. That's the Neptune trap. Neptune tricks you into thinking you're about to get fulfillment but it never pays off. So when people are seeking it and think they've found it in me, I know we're all about to have a terrible time. I've learned to strategically avoid people who think I'm magic (they get a certain look in their eyes that makes me run for the hills). The problem is that no amount of me telling the truth that I am not magic gets through to them, because the moon-Neptune-midheaven thing is so obvious and loud ("she's magic!"), my own voice saying "I am extremely human and flawed" gets drowned out.

Anyway, those are my qualifications to discuss a common pitfall I see a lot of: people with moon-Venus interactions in their chart. A reminder: Venus is the OTHER significator of women, and there's a fairly large population of people who have moon and Venus in some sort of aspect, and even the NICE aspects mash them up in a way that bothers me when I encounter them. Because I get forced into the role of 'moon' so often, even though I don't identify with it, people with Venus involved with their moon often then get mad at me for not playing Venus, because those two are linked up in THEIR chart. Is that fair? Absolutely not. But I've found that some of the most insatiable humans (regardless of their gender) have moon-Venus issues. Let me say it in English: what you need to feel nurtured and comfortable (moon) is interacting with your desire function (Venus). The problem: these people can't decide whether they want to be mothered or romantically pursued. If you DON'T have this issue in your chart, don't pass judgment on people who do. I assure you, it's real. Women with it often can't decide whether they want to be Hera or Aphrodite (depends on the day, usually), which is rough enough, and people who have this aspect and are attracted to women can't decide which role they want their women to play. If you have this, the more you own the conflict within yourself, the less tangled these two are going to be, and the less you're going to put women in your life in an impossible situation, because you'll get mad at a Venus for not being a moon, and vice versa.

Want to think about how this split might contribute to a LOT of the impossible standards for women? Be my guest! A lot (a LOT) of slut-shaming is born out of this. But I'm sticking to my personal experience because I feel it on such a personal level.

As a walking lunar character (against my will!), when I was a teenager, I'd have these guys (many of them) whine to me endlessly and then ask me out, because they felt *so close* to me after all that unwitting mothering I'd done. I'd usually be horrified and avoid them, because I found them exhausting in the first place, and the prospect of MORE whining was more than I could fathom. But they switched on me overnight: I'd been the moon, and suddenly I was being asked to be Venus. It was so confusing. I had an unfortunate situation with a guy with moon-Venus who I dated, who appreciated my lunar qualities but then started criticizing my appearance: nothing was ever "enough" for that one, and I eventually learned a lesson: unreasonable demands out of nowhere = bad news for yours truly. It is impossible to satisfy the unsatisfiable.

Sometimes people with moon-Venus will use two different women to fulfill the requirements of the impossible job. Ideally, their mom would be one of the women, but should she not be available, it creates a vacancy. Should they marry a Venus and slowly turn her into a moon (they do this!!), that creates a vacancy, too. (I have examples of famous people I am straining not to name-check right now, but will immediately do it if you ask me personally.) Needs and desires can't always be kept separate, but my PSA for you today is to come to a conscious understanding of both of them for the sanity of everyone around you. Do it for me!

All of us have a moon. All of us have a Venus. Sometimes they're in signs that play well with each other, and make tolerable aspects that aren't too complicated. Good for you if that's the case. But sometimes they're split so badly that they're impossible to reconcile, and sometimes they're merged, and similarly incomprehensible. Pro tip: it's okay to accept the fact of dueling energies, and knowing what's causing what is more than half the battle.

There's no such thing as a sexy matron. It's one or the other.