Once upon a time on another planet

In honor of Uranus transiting my sun, a Uranus story for you:

Several things about Uranus transits are universally true: you're going to be shaken out of your normal reality, you're going to have to experiment with new ideas (otherwise you will feel very stifled and frustrated), you're going to meet new people, and some people in your life are probably going to start acting weird. Or at least not-normal. Now, you can try to avoid these things, sure. You can see a Uranus transit coming and go "nah" and get in a bunker and avoid all people, but I do not recommend that. Uranus is energy that keeps life interesting. Vaguely chaotic, but interesting.

Sun transits have to do with men, even if you are a man, so if you have Uranus transiting your sun or Mars, expect weird men (obviously moon and Venus, expect strange women or strange behaviors from women). When I had Uranus sextile my sun, I had what I called the "cyclone of inappropriate men." It was what it sounded like. My day job was one in an office composed primarily of women, but in my off time, I was involved in the local comedy scene, and that is rife with men with drug problems and emotional issues or (usually) both at once (there were women there, too—don’t get me wrong—but it was mostly guys). I'd previously lived a nice, settled, domestic life and had broken out of that into...this, somehow. It was different, that was for sure. I felt like an alien for being as normal as I was. I was the outlier who had paid their electric bill on time.

Personally, I inherited a puritanical streak, and so my exposure to substances was basically nothing aside from the normal stuff you see at the boring suburban parties where someone is grilling. I also don't like altering my consciousness much because it opens me up to hearing from random dead people, which usually feels terrible (it's bad when it's random), so I'm boring in this regard. Anyway, I went from no knowledge to opening someone's freezer and going "what's this foil thing?" "That's acid." "Oh." Also: it was the only thing in the freezer. I knew that a previous version of me would have been judgmental.

I should probably say that in this period of life, I'd been humbled so badly that I felt like a loser who couldn't get it together. That wasn't Uranus: that was a Neptune transit, which is a different story. Previously, I'd looked down my nose at people who made a series of unmistakably bad decisions, or who committed the sins of being irresponsible and flaky, so it wasn't so hard to look around and pinpoint the reasons some of my new friends couldn't get it together. Like, stand back, I'll solve this one: file your years-overdue taxes! But part of my humbling was that I'd previously done a lot of the on-paper "right" things and wound up in a stifling existence, which melted into a horrifying nightmare when I stopped following the dumb rules. I realized that it was possible to do everything wrong and still get where you're going, and do everything right and wind up in the wrong place, so I threw up my arms in resignation and decided to just roll with what was in front of me, because life was not being my friend (Neptune still).

I found myself at underground comedy events at odd hours and strange locations (it's in an attic! It's in a basement! It's in the back room of a bar! Text so-and-so to get the location). I found myself at concerts I'd never go to by myself. I found myself in fancy high-rise apartments at house parties where someone once produced Shaquille O'Neal's shoe (apparently one can buy that at auction? Anyway, it was huge). I found myself at house parties in less-nice places, where there was someone passed out on the couch who no one ever acknowledged, despite bone-rattling music playing, but who I promise was alive (I checked). I wandered into quiet huddles where people had produced the secret drugs that they were keeping from the rest of the party, which either meant that they were very good or very bad. Oops: carry on, guys. The people around me on nights and weekends were pretty consistently high most of the time. I was in my own little emotional pain-world, which was really kind of the same thing when you think about it.

I wound up loving one of the weirdos. There was an age difference, there was a sobriety difference, there was a socioeconomic difference, there was a resume difference (his was in chronological order instead of reverse-chronological order and after scratching my head, I put it down and said nothing). But what it really was, and here's the Uranus part: a meeting of the minds. We just *got* each other, and at least for the moment, that was what I needed.

Instability is another hallmark of Uranian times, and this situation was anything but stable, so came apart with very little provocation. What I'll always appreciate about that time is that I could be a loser who was seriously down on her luck and no one cared. There was always room on the couch for me, there was always a hug, there was always giggling, and no one but me could ever find their keys on the first try. I know I don't belong in that world, and the doors to it are closed now, but I have a soft spot in my heart for what it once was.