Uuuh, mayhem part 2

So maybe last week when I said "the thing about right now is the two most disruptive planets aren't moving much for the next two months," I think I said it a couple of days too soon. The two most disruptive planets we have (Mars and Uranus) in basically stopped motion means that wherever they are stopped, they are SERIOUSLY messing with people and things (especially if you have energy around 18-21° Cardinal* or 22-23° Fixed** signs). Add to that Pluto in Aquarius, which I know I talk about a lot, but that's because the vibe right now is deeply Plutonian and Uranian shit: bye-bye comfort zones, essentially. Uranian energy is autocratic at its worst. Pluto's in Uranus's sign. The math on that is simple but unpleasant.

Pluto is in a fixed sign (Aquarius), and fixed signs do not like change. That's like saying "fish do not like to be on land." The last time Pluto was in a fixed sign (deeply messing with people's comfort zones) was 1995 (this was the HIV/AIDS crisis, mainly). When you see seemingly immovable objects getting moved, you're watching fixed sign drama.

So, astrologically speaking, is now a good time to try to tear a bunch of shit up with Mars retrograde and Uranus stopped in the sky? Nope. Does it make sense that Venus is going retrograde in Aries (angry sign) and back into Pisces, where it'll conjunct Saturn for a month in April (financial hardship)? Yep. Should you despair completely?

In my extremely in-depth and semi-voluntary study of learning to speak "energy," I have learned the following:

• freaking out won't help you

• neither will looking at all possible transits you have going and interpreting them to the most negative

• neither will an "everything happening at once" approach to energy/astrology

  • sometimes you have 2 or 3 major transits at once but I promise you, one is loudest

  • pick one rather than lamenting it all

So, dividing and conquering is your best bet as opposed to bemoaning the entire state of everything. What can you do something about, where are you stalled out completely, where does it make sense to take action, and DOES it make sense to take action?

In other words: choose your enemy. If you choose Pluto, you are fighting a MENTAL battle, because Pluto is in an AIR sign (so we fight using our LAWYERS or other SMART PEOPLE). If you choose Mars, you are fighting an EMOTIONAL battle, because Mars is in a WATER sign (so we fight using our MOTHER***). If you choose Uranus, you are fighting a battle of SUSTAINING because Uranus is in an EARTH sign (so we chain ourselves to a TREE to prove we're not moving). If you choose Neptune, you probably don't know which way is up because Neptune is in Pisces and Pisces is special (so we CRY).

When everything is on fire, you don't fight everything: that's how you die. Move slowly if you need to move, but a better bet is to wait for the disruption to die down if at all possible.

*Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn
**Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius
***Yes, I'm kidding