Vibe check challenge: stop being used for stuff

This is going to sound unrelated to my previous doom and gloom take on Pluto in Capricorn, though, if you follow other astrologers, my previous post was probably on the milder side of what it could have been, but anyway: a new take on the Vibe Check challenge this year (remember that?) is examining where you're putting your energy and whether that's really working for you.

Audit yourself. For the people who are freely giving of their energy: who or what is getting your energy and is that the best use of it? For those of you who are takers: who are you leaning on and why? How is that stopping you from taking responsibility for your own shit? Either way, see where you're spending your time and whether that's doing good things for you. (Hint: no.)

The more I think about this, the more I realize I've seen it all year, so I think it's a combination of the people who surround me and sky factors, but the theme is this: capable people are being eaten alive by others who just can't get it together. If this sounds like you, stop enabling them. Stop it right now.

I'm fortunate to be surrounded by capable people. I realize that. Just because it's easy for us capable people to figure stuff out for ourselves does not mean we need to spend all our time putting other people's lives in order. As soon as you step away from your "duties," things will start to fall apart for our charges, and I understand why you'd worry about that, but at some level you have to see that you're being irresponsible where you are concerned: I'm sure there are a million things you'd rather do or be able to accomplish if you aren't distracted by the plights of the incapable.

I've experienced some rude awakenings and I'm watching people I care about go through something similar: sometimes when you support another person, they claim they’re not capable of doing things on their own that it turns out they can actually figure out when they’re not leaning on you. A long time ago, I made a deal with someone I was in a relationship with that I would invest in something if he took steps to make it a more secure investment. He agreed, and then reneged once the deal was done, and then I was stuck on the hook. After we broke up, he had no problem taking those steps all by himself. I don't think about this much (because it makes me mad), but in hindsight it's clear I shouldn't have been doing what I was doing.

A really easy way to do an energy audit is to see who hits you up for what on an already bad day: when you don't have the time, the bandwidth, the patience, or the emotional capability to handle someone else's bullshit or personal challenges, what happens? I'm not trying to invoke a bad day, but it's a cheat mode to get a sense of what's happening around you. I once had bronchitis over the holidays and was later told I "ruined Christmas." I was super hurt by that in the moment, but in hindsight, that's the mark of an energy taker, is it not? Wacky accusations almost always come from immature people who want to blame you for their own shortcomings.

A different way to tell when you're giving too much is when you're experiencing resentment, which is anger that can't externalize itself properly. If you're giving with anger or giving with strings attached, you're not doing anyone a kindness, which again presents an opportunity to stop and rethink things.

With two-plus months of Pluto in Capricorn to go, why don't you use the (sucky but available) energy to get real about limitations and what's reasonable? If you're a giver, I'm not saying anything you don't know, except now is the time to take concrete steps to get out of the abyss that is being a human crutch.

I can't get a video for this anymore, but I'll close with a quote from Tracy Morgan as Tracy Jordan: "I don't believe in one-way streets. Not between people, and not when I'm driving."'