Zombies from beyond the grave

We've all been there. You're starring in a zombie movie, and you, the human hero(ine), beat the crap out of your zombie foe and turned your back on them. The movie-watching audience sees your opponent come back to life because in your haste, you forgot to take its head off. Oopsie.

This is kind of what having a 7th house Pluto is like: relationships that are all-consuming in nature, that after a breakup can seem deader than dead... Then all of a sudden some zombie from beyond the grave is ba-ack and coming directly at you. Silly goose: you forgot how to deal with Plutonians.

This is one of those topics where if you know, you know, and if you don't, god bless you, you must have Venus in the 7th house or are generally not scheduled to encounter diabolical enemies in this lifetime (the 7th house, in addition to being indicative of relationships, is also "open enemies," meaning you both agree you hate each other and everyone else knows it, too).

There are several problems with dating the lord of the underworld: 1. it's time- and energy-consuming. 2. they're jealous types. 3. epic novels could be written about the breakups, since Pluto refuses to let go without a fight.

I was watching a video about the witness protection program, which often protects people who are ratting out members of the mob (a Plutonian concept), and they claim to have lost 0 participants who followed the rules they agree to when they enter the program (I said "claim" because how on earth would we actually know the stats?). The rules are basically: you have to disappear. They change your name, they change your location, and any ties to your old life are cut. You only contact old family and friends through the program. You only travel back to your hometown to testify against your enemy. In some cases, the witness protection program has had people declared dead who are alive and well...elsewhere. But you cannot show any signs that the old you is still findable, lest you get un-alived by your enemy.

The same concept of witness protection is the only way to endure Plutonian breakups: you have to vanish and they have to really believe you're gone, which means no hanging around old haunts, no updating your social media (you don't delete your accounts but instead they seem to end at the time of the breakup--like aggressively not posting) and you have to avoid letting mutual friends know you're still alive. You get to keep your own friends and your own circle of trust, but if you have a friend with a big mouth and something gets back to your Plutonian that indicates you're alive and well, they're going to come and check on you. They will keep checking forever until they realize you're "dead." So, most importantly, in our modern age: no communication. No calls. No texts. No "thinkin' bout 'cha." No happy birthdays. No one has birthdays in your post-Plutonian apocalyptic hellscape. If you have feelings, write them a card and burn the card. If you're going out drinking, take their number out of your phone if you don't trust the drunk version of yourself to maintain self-control.

Now I will say the same thing a third way: you must stop feeding the Plutonian and the relationship energy. Plutonians eat energy like Pac-Man eats dots. It can even be negative attention: that's still energy, and to Plutonians, that's food. If they have zero food and no hope of food on the horizon, they will eventually give up and move on. But "eventually" can take years, sometimes.

ANY sign of life can send them back to you: there is really no predicting what might entice them, so it's best to give them nothing to react to at all. The problem with Plutonians, and what makes them dangerous, is they will hurt themselves to hurt you. Remember: the scorpion (Scorpio's mascot) dies when it stings someone. A lot of the time they reappear to prove to themselves that they can still wield power over you. One of the last times I had a zombie Pluto pop up out of nowhere, I had to shout him away and call him a moron who didn't understand the meaning of the word "never" in the sentence "never contact me again." It seemed like a show of strength, but I was physically shaking for an hour afterward.

To the unaware, it might seem like an overreaction to freeze, stop everything you're doing, and disappear. Again: if you know you know...that you can go live your best life extremely privately. Let the zombies go eat someone else's face.